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It may help to tell you a little about me before you jump right in and start reading about my life. I'm Betty, I'm a 22-year-old bi-polar divorcee and a mother. That's a mouthful, huh?

I have a twin sister, Adrian, who is 17 minutes older than me. Sanetwin is in memory of her. She's currently in a mental ward. She's paranoid schizophrenic, borderline delusional, and bi-polar to boot. She also has severe health problems. She had four heart attacks by the time she was 18. She has had one kidney removed, tubes in her ears, her adnoids removed, and more. The doctors didn't think she would live past 19, but we'll be 23 in a few weeks. She is currently awaiting trial for three different federal charges.

My parents were married when my mom was 7 months pregnant with us. My brother was already two at the time. They were divorced within a year. Dad stayed in the area until I was about five. Then he went on vacation to visit my Uncle Edward, who had just been released from prison for the murder of my other uncle Jaime, and never came back. We hear from him sporadically. He keeps spawning girls all over the U.S.

Mom went on to remarry 5 times before I graduated highschool. The first guy, Rick, committed suicide within six months. My mom and I found him dead. Then was Guy, who was an abusive asshole. Sexually and physically. That lasted, oh about a year. Then was Larry. He kept beating the crap out of Mom and she kept bailing him out of jail. She met J. by the time I was 7. He left her after I moved out when I was 18.

J. was the closest thing I ever had to a father. He was basically a good guy despite some indiscretions in my early childhood. Things I'm struggling to overcome and pretend never occurred. After their divorce was final on a Saturday my mom remarried on a Sunday to a guy fresh from a 15-year prison stint. She's still with him.

When I was 14 I started dating a much older guy, Joey. I stayed with him until I was 17. He was a total loser, but he cared deeply for me. He controlled my every move so that I had to cut him completely from my life. He picked out my clothing to wear to school, who I could talk to (no one) and where I could go (nowhere without him). After this sudden unexpected freedom I became a huge alcoholic. In my junior year in high school I was arrested four times for underage consumption and wrecked three cars. I had to go to AA meetings my senior year. I was kicked out for getting trashed before a movie and telling the other participants that they were all fucking losers.

Which is when I met Ryan. After working my way through a series of homeless, alcoholic, abusive assholes Ryan seemed like the perfect guy for me. We fell in love and dated through most of my senior year. The summer after I graduated I became pregnant, unexpectedly. We decided to keep the baby and moved in together.

My daughter, Analise was born in April. She is what keeps me going. She's bright, sweet, smart, and beautiful as well. I cut most of my insane, abusive family out of my life at that time. Ryan joined the Navy and we moved to VA. We were married when Analise was just over a year old. Ryan began to lie to me all the time, stay out late drinking with his friends, and run around with a group of err... *easy* girls. I left him after I found out he had been kissing one of those girls, Nikki, at a party he went to.

I came home in April 2003 and moved back in with my ex-step-dad, Jay. His girlfriend, Jennifer, and he broke up shortly after I returned so it's just Jay, Analise, and I in the house. I worked briefly as a server but quit when they wouldn't let me off because Analise was sick.

In August I started dating a wonderful guy named Jeff. He's so sweet and great with Analise. We had planned on moving in together in a year. He is in the National Gaurd and was called up active duty. He's in Germany now. We broke up after he left, when I met Jason. Probably one of the biggest mistakes I have made was dating Jason four times. He sent me spiraling into depression and added more issues (if that's possible) to how I view relationships and men.

So here I am. Going to college full-time after a long struggle to get back in. Living with my step-dad still, and learning to live life one day at a time.

Still want to know more? Check out my 200 things about me.

"When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane."



before//after